The horrible, no good, lousy day.

So this past Friday was a doosy. A real, doosy. I have to admit that i was almost in tears from my kids behavior by 9am. Seriously, ALREADY to that point by 9am. Keep in mind that this particular morning we got up at 7:45am. We have to argue over everything from what color plate we eat off of to the pair of shorts we put on. And with Eli, we also have to argue over who is going to do it... me or him... (I want him to do it, he wants to be helpless & have me do it for him!) By lunch time, Eli had begun to get it together & then he fell & skinned his knee. And you know how it all went down the drain from there. I used this to my advantage. I doctored him up (despite his literal kicking & screaming when i poured peroxide on it!) and gave him his lunch right quick. He actually whined, chewed, whined, chewed, etc (you get the point) until i just couldn't take it anymore. He was fine at this point, but was just hanging onto the drama. So i decided to play along.... I told him we needed to get his leg back to feeling better so he needed to 'rest' it. I told him to grab a pillow off the couch & we took it upstairs. Then i told him we needed to lay in the bed & prop his knee up on the pillow to rest it. (i also gave him a dose of advil for good measure since he loves taking medicine & i figured it wouldn't hurt). In less than 2 minutes.... this is what i found when i peeked in....This was a full hour before his regular naptime! And he slept for almost 3 hours which hasn't happened in quite some time. I think he must have needed it. I know i sure did. And this gave me some time to reflect on some changes that needed to be made....

In recent months, the drama has been building at the Moss house. I guess it mainly has to do with Eli's age & the fact that Jackson is tired & grumpy from school. But man, it has been rough. My attitude has been diminishing as a result & i could hear myself becoming the kind of parent that i don't want to be. All i heard was negativity from myself to the kids & as a result they were giving me negativity back. It was a vicious cycle. And it was one i knew i needed to break.

So, out of the horrible, no good, lousy day, a new behavior chart was born! We had been using a stop light system. The kids have a stoplight on the fridge with name labeled clothes pins attached. If they were doing well, they stayed on green. If they needed a warning, onto yellow they went. If they went to red, then there was a consequence of some sort. There were two problems, however.... 1) again- this only promoted the negative consequence and 2)they were policing EACH other & moving each other's pins around (plus all i was hearing was "i'm on green & you are still on yellow! **invision a tongue sticking out because the tone suggested that he might as well have his tongue out!**) I had been talking to my friend Meredith about this some because she has been using a great system to teach her kids bible verses. I wanted to use bible verses to show the kids how they needed to behave, not because "i am the mean mommy." - which yes, i have been called in recent months, more than once- but because this is how God wants us to live & it pleases Him. So Friday night, i made these and posted them to the pantry door Saturday morning for a fresh start!
I explained to the kids that each night we were going to place stickers on our charts for each behavior & with the behavior, we would recite our verse which tells us WHY we behave in the good ways that we should. Day one, was a success overall.... but by day two, we are already doing a little worse..... but that's okay! There's always tomorrow to start fresh. Here is Jackson's chart.... And here is Eli's tonight before we went to bed. Can you tell the areas we struggle with around here?? lol! Each time they get a line to the end... they get this.....
And as a side note. I have kept the stop light to use with this system as well. It gives them warning when they are about to lose an opportunity at a sticker on the chart. And it keeps me accountable to that as well.

If you are curious, here are the behaviors & verses on the chart (Most of them the kids can already recite some or all of just after 2 days!) When i ask them each night "Were you a helper today?" They will answer me & then I will ask them, "Why should you be a helper?" And this prompts them for the memory verse of "Even a child is known by his deeds." So that is an example of how we are using it. Here 's the whole list of them from our chart:
* I was a helper. (Even a child is known by his deeds Prov. 20:11)
*I used kind words (A soft answer turns away wrath. Prov 15:1)
*I shared with others (Honor one another above yourselves Rom 12:10)
*I did not interrupt others (i am still looking for a verse for this one- probably something on respect!)
* I treated others with love & kindness (Love your neighbor as yourself. Matt 22:39)
* I obeyed the first time (Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Col. 3:20)
*I controlled my temper (Do everything without complaining or disputing. Phil 2:14)
* I cleaned up my own mess. (Do all things decently & in order. 1 Cor 14:40)
*I ate my dinner with thankfulness. (Unto thee, oh God, do we give thanks. Ps. 75:1)