Yes, Yes, I know there are actually a ton. But I mean, one class that teaches you all you need to know for every personality type, every situation that will arise, and every age level. And then it all magically sinks in & you implement every strategy without ever batting an eye. And they all work.
Wouldn't that be amazing?!
Well, probably not, because then we'd all be robots. And God made us all differently for a reason. It is just hard to appreciate our differences sometimes.
That is how I feel as a mom sometimes. Okay. A lot. I can't always appreciate my kids differences.
I had an emotional breakdown just this week over it. And last... and potentially the week before too. :) Parenting is just hard. I truly thought when I was younger & had itty bitty children that the toddler years were going to be the hard part & then it would be smooth sailing. What rock was I hiding under?! I have since learned that EVERY age has its challenges. And I think the hardest part for me, as the mom of Jackson & Eli, is that they are SO different from each other. They require different parenting techniques than each other & I feel like I am constantly bouncing from one school of thought to another or else failing all together.
With Eli, I see that he is JUST like me... hot tempered, every little thing is a big deal, and wound so tight he is just ready to pop at any given moment. You would think that by seeing that he is like me, i would be able to relate? Nope. Having those qualities in a tiny 6 year old body means one thing: He is totally illogical. He can NOT chill long enough to be rational or hear anyone else being rational. Makes disciplining & rearing a wee bit difficult.
Then there is Jackson. He is SO much like his Daddy. Quiet. Introverted. But a perfectionist with a temper. Because he is quiet though, that temper builds slowly. You never know there has been a problem festering until it literally explodes in your face & you never saw it coming. Once he gets so high in the sky with the anger & frustration, he literally can NOT bring himself back to reality. He doesn't know how to handle it, himself.
So, i know that you are wondering why I am sharing this with you. Well, stay with me... there IS a point. I promise. As I said, I feel like I have been having this inward struggle trying to get things together myself . Trying to see what things I am doing to contribute to the emotional climate around here & I can see that I have fallen into a rut. If I want my kids to learn how to behave when they are angry, then I need to model that behavior. I need to remain calm & show THEM respect if I expect respect in return. If I don't talk to them with respect, then why would they talk to each other with respect? Just because I said so? Nope. You have to walk the walk, not talk the talk. So, I have been trying to be more aware of what characteristics I am emulating that I don't want to emulate.
And I have been praying about it. A lot. I know that GOD gave me these boys for a reason. He thought I was the best woman for the job, together with Randy. And he gave the boys to each other as brothers because he knew they would be the best suited for each other, in spite of those differences. Are there other better moms out there? Yes.
Are there better moms for MY kids? No.
So, I need to "woman up" & make sure that I am doing all I can to raise these boys in the way the Lord would have me to. After all, at the end of the day, the most important things our kids will ever learn will come from within the very walls of this house. How to love... Isn't that the root of it all, anyway? Loving God, Loving each other & others, and serving those around us?
And every now & then, I think God shows me that it might be sinking in after all. Despite how hard today was or last week was... You get a reminder that despite the tedious day to day, the bigger picture is happening. I walked into the school the other day & I saw this on the bulletin board at the front of the school:
Then I came across this letter in Randy's truck the same afternoon (I have no idea how old this is, but I feel like it is at least a year old based on some spelling & grammar errors)..
He might be quiet, but he has a heart of gold!
Then there's Eli.
A few days ago, Jackson really hurt his arm. I mean, we thought for a little while he might have actually broken it. We iced it for awhile & he calmed down so we didn't go to the emergency room. But the next morning, when i went in to wake Eli for school, he rolled over, sat up & the first thing out of his mouth as he was rubbing his eyes was, "Is Jackson's arm feeling better?"
Melt. My. Heart.
He was really concerned with his brother's well being. (Which thankfully, his arm was bruised but otherwise fine)
Eli will share the last cookie crumb with me without me even asking.
He will give Jackson his money to buy something when he wants it.
He is always there for a hug.
He might be loud, but he has a heart of gold, too!
When i see past the differences, I see that really we aren't all that different after all. We want to love & be loved. Thank the Lord for my sweet boys & my never-a-dull-moment life with them!
